There is a hard truth that not many real estate agents talk about and I want to be brutally honest with you.
Success in real estate, or any business, is not just about strategies, scripts, or social media hacks. It’s about the internal shifts, the sacrifices, and yes, the loneliness that comes with deciding to chase something bigger.
When Growth Feels Lonely
This isn’t the kind of loneliness where you’re just bored on a Saturday night. I’m talking about the sharp kind. The kind that sneaks in after you announce to your friends, “Hey, I’m going all in on real estate,” and suddenly the invites stop coming.
When I made the decision to step into real estate, it was equal parts terrifying and exciting. I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone, recording videos (even though I hated being on camera), and pursuing something I was truly passionate about.
But then the little comments started.
One night at a friend’s braai, I overheard someone, someone I didn’t even know, say how cringey they thought my videos were. That moment hit hard.
And unfortunately, that wasn’t the only time. Some of the hardest jabs came from the people I expected to support me most. Friends drifted. Family questioned my decisions. I heard things like:
“Why would you leave quantity surveying after all that studying?”
“Real estate is just a side hustle, not a real career.”
Meanwhile, I was out there trying to create a better future ,for myself, for my family. And it felt like the more I pushed forward, the more uncomfortable people around me became.
That’s when I learned something powerful.
Proximity Is Power
The people closest to you have the greatest influence on how you show up. If you surround yourself with people who doubt you, dismiss you, or try to keep you in a box, that will affect your mindset, your confidence, and your momentum.
So I started shifting. I didn’t burn bridges, but I created space. Some people just didn’t make the cut anymore. Others, I still see occasionally and we catch up, but they are no longer part of my inner circle.
That space is now reserved for people who align with where I’m going, not where I’ve been.
The Lonely Phase Is Real
There is a stretch of time, often between six to twelve months, where it feels like you’re stuck between your old life and your new one. You’re not quite sure who you are yet. You’re hustling hard to get things moving. You feel isolated. And you’re desperately hoping to find “your people.”
Let me be real with you. That phase is hard. It tests you. It makes you question everything. But it also builds you. Because in that space, you’re no longer clinging to what was. You’re laying the foundation for what’s next.
How I Found My People
I started going to events. Alone. No one by my side. No familiar faces. I forced myself to talk to strangers, to start conversations, to connect with people chasing big goals too.
And it changed everything.
I found friends who understood the grind. Mentors who had already walked the road I was on. Business partners who shared my values. None of that would have happened if I stayed in the comfort of my old circle. If you feel like your friends no longer get you, that’s not a sign something is wrong. It’s a sign you are growing.
Audit Your Circle
Ask yourself:
Who are the propellers in your life, the ones who push you forward?
Who are the anchors, the ones who hold you back?
Not everyone needs to be cut off completely, but some people definitely need less access. You do not owe constant access to everyone who once knew a different version of you.
And if you’re still trying to find your people, go where they are. Attend industry events, masterminds, networking nights, even online meetups. Yes, it might feel awkward. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable. But in that discomfort, you’ll find connection. And in that connection, you’ll find the support system you need to keep going.
The Truth About Loneliness in Entrepreneurship
Entrepreneurship is not lonely because no one understands you. It’s lonely because you’re still trying to be understood by the wrong people. Once you start connecting with the right people, the ones who believe in growth, who challenge you to level up, who want more for their lives too, everything shifts.
You gain clarity. You build confidence. And you realize that the journey doesn’t have to feel so heavy when you’re walking it with others.
What now?
If you’re in that weird, in-between place, caught between who you were and who you’re becoming, you are not alone. It’s part of the process. And it’s temporary.
Make a commitment to attend at least one event this year. Show up, even if it’s messy. Put yourself out there. You never know who’s waiting on the other side of that room, that handshake, or that awkward introduction.
